Interview With a Dragon
by AthenaFangGranger26
Summary: Okay this was a school assignment and I found it pretty dang cool, so I put it up for all y'all to see. Lol, it's meant to be funny by the way.


Book project

Interview with a character

I chose Saphira from _Eragon_ to interview; this is after the events in the book and is in no means realistic in any way. The following is a recording and any unidentifiable sound will have a guess at what it was by the interviewer herself.

Valerie: Hello, today we will be talking to the Great Saphira, who has taken a short leave from her adventures with Eragon the Shadeslayer. Hello, Saphira.

Saphira: Hello, glad to be here. Um, how exactly are you able to hear me? Only Dragonriders can hear us dragons.

V: Well, it's a simple request from the Varden and a little help from Eragon. Anyway, that is beside the point… let's get started with the interview.

S: Very well, first question?

V: What was it like traveling with Eragon and Brom, before his death?

S: To be perfectly honest, it was rather boring and tedious. Eragon had too much to learn to be taking on such a feat. I was beginning to get tired of saving him.

V: Isn't that a bit harsh?

S: I'm a dragon. I suppose I can be mean if I want to.

V: Oh, okay. I guess. So, um, what is it like to be a dragon, to live with a Dragonrider?

[Saphira growls, and Valerie quickly asks a different question]

V: Um, how about are you proud of Eragon for killing Durza the Shade?

S: Of course, he _is _my rider. I would be proud if he survived a jump off a cliff too.

V: Um, well, that made no sense.

[Saphira growls again]

V: I mean, that makes perfect sense.

S: Yes, it did.

V: So, do you think you would have liked your adventures to be any different, if you could change them?

S: Absolutely not. Now, to lose Brom was sad, but it all had to happen in the end. Eragon would not have learned to take care of himself had that not happened.

V: Well put, Saphira. Spoken rather wisely. Is that a normal trait of a dragon? Just pure curiosity.

S: You know, I'm starting to wonder if this is a real interview.

V: It is... well, it's actually...no it's a real interview.

S: Oh really?

[Saphira growls again, the "invisible" audience gasps]

S: An invisible audience, eh?

V: Hey, how can you read that? That's being typed as we speak.

S: Well, that would be a dragon secret, dear interviewer.

V: Oh, really? I'll just ask Eragon. Or Murtagh.

S: You wouldn't get an answer.

V: Whatever, I'll ask anyway. I've got my own secrets, you know, Saphira.

S: [Scoffing] Like what?

V: I write.

S: Big deal. What will that do?

V: Well, as a writer, I can control anything I decide to write about. If I wanted you to burst into flames, I could make it happen. If I wanted Chuck Norris to make a guest appearance, appearing magically like Harry Potter, then he would. See?

S: So what.

V: So, I want you to tell me how you could read that.

S: Too bad. I have my own dragon secrets that counter-act your writer secrets. It makes no difference.

V: You know, this is getting farther and farther from my original plan. I don't even have any questions written down.

S: And whose fault is that?

V: Quiet, dragon.

[Saphira is quiet, unnaturally quiet. Huffing, angry huffing is soon heard.]

V: So sure your "dragon secrets" can counter-act mine, now? I told you to shut it, and would you look at that? You did.

[Saphira attempts to growl menacingly, it doesn't sound good.]

V: Ha ha ha. I win. Okay, fine, you can speak.

S: I'd rather burn you to a crisp.

V: Now now, is that very nice?

[Saphira growls again]

V: You do that quite a bit, don't you?

[Saphira growls]

V: I rest my case.

S: Do you have anymore questions?

V: No, not really. I mean, we didn't do much interviewing anyway. Wonder why that is?

S: You.

V: Well, that was rude.

S: I'm a dragon; I don't have to be nice.

V: Fine. Well, I guess that's it. Ladies and gentlemen, the Great, and rather annoying, Saphira!

[Saphira snarls and a huge rushing sound is heard. Tape is disconnected, dying out into static]

[Then a single hushed voice is heard.]

V: Well, Saphira just burned my studio. I just barely survived with the recorder and my life. All thanks to my awesome writer powers. Thanks for listening (or reading). Bye!


End file.
